Brothers
& sisters, I feel your pain. You are enticed by the idea of a
wet-and-wild supermoto, but you are not into racing a motocrosser with
street tires in a parking lot, oh no.
Kerouac had
his highway 66, but the one road I call my own is the SS427, a winding
leg between the village of Varzi and the Del Penice pass. Unlike Jack, I
have no philosophical or existentialist motives here, just a simple
adrenaline addictionYou're too old or meek for broken bones on a
weekly basis. You are more into an open-road type of supermoto,
something less focused. A bike that would let you cover 150 miles
without shaking your fillings out on the way to that gnarly secret
fantasy road, the one that's so curvy it gives you the goosebumps.
Unfortunately, for you and me, such an animal doesn't really exist and
it hurts. I feel your pain. I would be upset too if I had to do an
hour-long highway drone on a track-oriented 450 SM with an ironing board
for a seat. Yes I know that there are up-and-coming beasts such as the
950/990 KTM twins, but are you sure that the remedy for your pain lies
with these high-horsepower, sub-400lb badass tools?
Well,
I know I'm pushing the proverbial envelope with supermoto community
members, but I think I've found the remedy in a rather unexpected mount.
Look at the pictures and read my thoughts. A Ducati Monster... what the
hell does that have to do with a supermoto? Am I high on inhaled race
gas fumes? Well no, this divine revelation didn't land on me all of the
sudden. After ten days with Ducati's S2R, I came to the conclusion that
it's the "supermoto" of sorts that I would like to spend my day on. A
day with a good mix of open highways in search of classy bends and then
tearing, scratching and storming up and down gnarly passes. It's a bit
surprising really, considering the fact that the S2R is not even the
Monster's flagship. Higher up the ladder you'll find the powerful S4R
and of course the classy M1000. On the face of it, the S2R is a poseur:
macho S4R looks but with a "puny" 77 hp engine. So why do I allow myself
to come out with such a bold statement? Read on.
Design
wise, you get the looks of the S4R with that racy off center color
stripe running from the small shield to the back seat cover that looks,
oh so Shelby Cobra '60s.
The 800cc mill is not that well known
and needs some introduction. During the general upgrade of Ducati's
air-cooled mills a few years ago, the 900 was bumped to 1000cc's, the
600 to 620 and the unpopular 750 to 800. Just like the other two
engines, the 800 mill received heavy updates to its combustion chambers,
head and lubrication system, but it doesn't have the twin spark DS
system. This setup is more critical on big bore engines such as the
1000cc unit. The one important goodie that the 800 does have over big
brother, is the new APTC clutch which reduces effort at the lever as
well as supplying an antilock action. This is a welcome improvement, as
Ducs have notoriously heavy clutches which can be a pain in stop and go
traffic.

Design
wise, you get the looks of the S4R with that racy off center color
stripe running from the small shield to the back seat cover that looks,
oh so Shelby Cobra 60's. When I went to pick my test ride, in Orange and
Black trim, I found it parked between a red/white S4R and a
yellow/black S2R and I must say that my mount's color scheme was the
least appealing. The red/white, available also on the S2R is the
bollocks, a true chick magnet. Fire it up and the twin Termignonis emit a
very muted beat. Bummer. Luckily, their high placement -- closer to
ears -- means that you get plenty of aural feedback while seated. On to
the city streets, first thing to get noticed is the reduced effort at
the clutch lever. Not down to oriental levels, but a serious improvement
nevertheless. After your body settles down on the new triangle dictated
by the handlebars, seat and pegs, you also notice that the somewhat
strange riding position of old monsters has changed. There is less
weight on the wrists and the footpegs are now in a much more proper
position, so everything feels way more balanced. Mmmm... more supermoto I
hear myself thinking... Additionally, I must add that the revised Duc
is more rational and adapted to city dwelling.
The
mildly redesigned bikini fairing does an OK job in deflecting windblast
from your chest and has stronger attachments, but it still flexes and
vibrates quite a lot, reminding you that this is a Ducati after all.

On
the short ride home, only two things bother me: stress at my wrists due
to the handlebar angle and what feels like too light of a front-end.
It's much lighter than I remember from the other Monsters I rode. A
quick check with a tire pressure gauge reveals that the front is over
inflated while the wrists issue is solved with a 6 mm Allen key and
rotating the handlebars in the clamps. Perfect. There are test bikes
which I have no problem leaving alone until I have time for a proper
ride after bringing them home. Just the thought of taking a Supersport
or Sport Tourer to do errands in the city makes me sweat. With this
Monster, it's the other way round. The single-cylinder-like narrowness,
the sporty yet erect seating position, the torquey engine and the newly
lightened clutch, allure me to go back into town to play. I don my jet
helmet, my cut finger gloves, vintage black jacket and I'm feeling all
set for a hormone check in downtown bars. My feisty mood has an abrupt
reality check though.
About a mile into my ride, I realize that I left my wallet at home.
U-turn time in a double lane street and...Shiite! Mid turn, I realize
that there's no way I am going to make it and I almost crash into a
parked car's door. I'd forgotten the Monster line has a history of
limited steering lock and this bike's maximum steering angle is simply
pathetic!
Only at the very last second, do I put a steadying.
Sure,
the new APTC clutch's pull is light, but now the lever is too short and
the ball end digs annoyingly into my little finger in constant city
traffic usefoot down and save the bike from an embarrassing fall
at 0 mph. Shaken, I turn back home, grab my wallet and head out again.
Time to get more agro. Sure, clutch pull is light but now the lever is
too short and the ball end digs annoyingly into my little finger in
constant city traffic use. These two problems are double irritating
since they could be easily solved. Otherwise, the M800 is such a peach
for city riding/showing off. The pull from down low is nice and linear
and by rolling the throttle just slightly quicker while sprinting out of
lights, the front end comes up beautifully. No surprises here. Power is
so controllable and un-intimidating that even a wheelie-challenged nerd
like me can pretend to be Doug Domokos for at least a couple hundred
yards at a time. The small overall bulk, stiff frame and wide handlebars
tempt you to arrive at stop lights with the rear end either in the air
or crossed up after a nice slide just for the heck of it. It is indeed
impressive how this decade-old-plus design still feels so fresh and
conveys those young and brash emotions. Just remember the limited
steering lock and use three fingers rather than four on the clutch
lever. The thing still has the innate ability to make you feel king of
the 'hood whenever you throw a leg over it. Enough posing.

Saturday morning I hop on the Milan-Genoa highway and the M800 has no
trouble at all keeping a steady 100 mph and for a short and furious
stretch.
I've seen 125 on the speedo.
Obviously, as with any full on naked, regardless of cc's, droning at
80-90mph makes much more sense, and at those speeds the 90° twin is
pumping out power in a relaxed and smooth fashion. Another relaxing
trait is that the retouched riding position more evenly splits the load
between legs and bum cheeks. The mildly redesigned bikini fairing does
an OK job in deflecting windblast from your chest and has stronger
attachments, but it still flexes and vibrates quite a lot, reminding you
that this is a Ducati after all.

Kerouac
had his highway 66, but the one road I call my own is the SS427, a
winding leg between the village of Varzi and the Del Penice pass. Unlike
Jack, I have no philosophical or existentialist motives here, just a
simple adrenaline addiction. Most Milanese squids prefer the faster
Trebbia road in the valley at the other side of the pass. I on the other
hand, am a sucker for the 20 miles of mental zig-zagging that this road
offers with hardly any straight bits to catch your breath. It's the
kind of place where there's not much use for more than 80-90hp or less,
but it demands solid handling, quick steering, good brakes, usable power
and clear front end feedback. This Monster has such a nice mix of all
the above, that I'm in full banshee mode within 30 seconds. Something
feels different about this M800's setup, the front end feeling more
reactive and the slight laziness while tipping old Monsters into bends
has almost disappeared. This S2R just loves my futile attempts to twist
the frame and reacts to my countersteering inputs with a quick and
smooth stoop into bends. Weighing-in at 15 pounds less than the M1000
might help here too. In the long hairpins it's easier to dial in the
last degrees of lean and the improved ground clearance ensures that
there won't be any muffler grinding here, even while hitting mid-corner
bumps.
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